[x]

AnorexiaI sit and listen quietly
To your gentle screams
No matter how hard you try
This is going to be a dream

No matter how hard you close your eyes
Or how quick you dry your tears
I'll come after you
I'll fill you with numerous fears

Running away won't help
Neither will trying to hid
Ill follow you wherever you go
And you'll come back to me with lies

You say it won't get out of hand
That you'll control it this time
But both of us know the truth
That you will never be fine

I'm the one you rely on
I'm the thing for you
You can't beat this fatal disease
You can't make it through

No matter how hard you try and deny it
You will n

Anorexia"I don't want to eat" I say, looking at her face.
My voice is so quiet now, she just hands me the plate.
When I don't take it she asks me to repeat.
So I say with more volume "I don't want to eat".

I stand up to leave but she grabs my arm.
She says I must be hungry and I am, I am.
But I tell her I'm not and rush upstairs.
She shouts "You have to eat" but I just don't care.

I stand in front of a mirror, my body makes me sick.
I wish I was a 'magazine-girl' beautifully thin as a stick.
But I'm so horribly fat, and I'm so disgustingly huge.
I can't bear to look at myself or stand the sight of food.

I wake up one day, and I'm too weak

AnorexiaI hate you
For what you did to me
But even more
I hate you
For what you did to her
Why can't you see
How beautiful she was
How beautiful she could be
Without you
Anorexia

How do you sleep at night
Knowing well those you've taken
Stolen from those that love them most
Driving us all insane
Forced into slow suicide
Does it even slightly faze you
That you are
The dark side of Glamour
Anorexia

The unbearable unbearable pain inside
Making it visable through scars
Hidden underneith baggy clothes
They'll never know of our relationship
Hold me in your arms
And sing me to my final sleep
Anorexia

AnorexiaAnorexia

Magazines and television
Model pretty girls
Their bodies perfect and so thin
Their hair all up in curls

I want to feel my skin, my bone
Changing into something beautiful
But sometimes I think looking like them
May take a miracle

I'll push around the corn and beans
All around my plate
Maybe I can convince them all
That I really ate.

I can see my bones now
Showing through my skin
Which has grown so very pale
Which has become so thin.

All I'll drink is water
And eat only cotton balls
To make my stomach think I'm full
Perhaps I'll make it after all

People seem to notice
And ask if I've lost weight

Personification of AnorexiaWe pass her every day in school,
And never before has she looked so ill.
Thin and pale, so calm and serene,
Standing by the Year Eight recycling bin.
I wish there was something I could say,
I wish it were still yesterday
When I could stop this attention seeking,
Help stop this havoc wreaking.
I want to be the friend I said,
But I can't help the tears inside my head –
I hope Anorexia doesn't want to stay,
I wont let her take my friend away...

AnorexiaMornings filled with hunger pains,
Blood slowly dying in my veins,
Exercise then fall to the floor,
Haul body up then work out more,
Chest growing tight and lungs are weak,
Head to tired for tongue to speak,
A mirror hanging in the hall,
What I would give to have “it all”,
With every bite of food I fail,
Body and spirit growing frail,
Silently dining from an empty plate,
Life measured out in height and weight,
Pangs of guilt as pride begins to grow,
Rib and hip bones clearly now show,
Each extra inch breeding despair,
Body and soul now running on air,
Staring as the mirror is now too tough,
Because nothing will ever

AnOreXiACradling you,
Limp in my arms,
Bones, and yellow skin,
Poking in to me,
I beg of you,
Eat.

The sight of food,
You vomit up blood,
All over me.
I do not care,
I will not leave.
Your hairs falling out,
Stringy and weak,
I hold it in my fingers,
Shaking,
Crying with you.

I wont let you die,
You can do this no more,
I look in those eyes,
So gray, loss of life,
You bruise so easily,
As i carry you to bathe,
Its like carrying a dead baby,
And laying it in its grave,
But you are not yet dead,
Food you shall eat,
Once so beautiful,
Weight will not be your defeat.

Anorexia may own you,
Your mind your heart your soul,
But

AnorexiaPicture perfect
How thin can you go?
Up for a challenge?
Painful and slow.

Waiting it out
Obsessed with forbidden
Skip one more meal
Keeping secrets hidden

Insomnia increases
Watching seconds tick
Saying you're not hungry
Denying you're sick

Grinding teeth
Vision wavering
Tastes long forgotten
You're still savoring

Standing outside
Feels so cold
Approaching blackness
Then legs fold

Hospital bed
Haven't awoken
Tearing eyes
Lives are broken

AnorexiaI love the feeling of hunger...
when I starve it.
and it lays neglected within me.

I love finding myself closer to perfection
every time I forget to eat.
and I step on the scale.

I love looking in the mirror
when I can see myself getting thinner.
and my bones are becoming visible.

and I hate the reflection even more
every time I look.
and I see the truth.

I see imperfection.

I see flaws.

I see regret and regret and regret.

and a mistake.

I am a mistake.

but maybe..maybe I can make myself worthwhile

I can reach perfection
I can let go of ugly things
like my appearance.. like this idiocy of my mind

I can grow
I can re

AnorexiaI think you’d find it funny,
What I see through my own eyes,
Smirking back triumphantly, in a bloated body disguise,
Great rolls of fat climb high upon, the multitudinous of flesh,
Much like the carcasses of the ever growing dead,

And yes I’d find it funny, to see through your own eyes,
Such sullen cheeks of bitterness, gazing back in mock surprise,
The calories still shedding,
Result in bones sickly grotesque,
This never ending story of anorexia in your head.

Relapse: A Life With Anorexia "Rush her to the ER!"
The doctors screamed at the nurses as they struggled with attaching the convulsing girl to the stretcher and rolling her through the well-lit hallways of the hospital. The white tile raced beneath the wheels and the grey paneling on the walls flew by as the ER crew sped down the path, desperate to get the girl into the emergency room. There was a nurse constantly screaming out her stats as they fell lower with each passing second.
The team rolled into the room and placed a cup over her mouth.
"She's in cardiac arrest, doctor, we have to move fast!"
The nurse kept screaming, her shrill voice r

AnorexiaShe was living inside me
Sometimes, she spoke for me
She didn't want I eat
So, I didn't eat anymore

I lost, but nobody saw it
When I explained all to my friends
They helped me
Both of them particularly

I will never be able to thank them enough
Thanks to them, I'm fine now
My life is beautiful, even if...
Now she'll always be there, deep inside myself

Anorexia'You're so skinny!'
'You don't need to lose weight!'
'You look great!'

Lies…all lies. I know the truth. Too many pounds here, too many there. Hips, stomach, butt…

I want it all gone. I need it to be gone. Eat less, exercise more…it's such a simple problem to fix.

So I eat when I need to. Doesn't even need to be everyday. It's usually something small. Carrots, celery, a handful of nuts…It's just enough to get me through the day.

You want to know my daily routine? Fine.

I run a few miles everyday. It took some time to get used to it, but I had to adjust to reach my goal.
No one else knows I do it. I wake in the wee h

AnorexiaShe looks at the food in front of her,
scared to death to taste even one bit.
She watches the people eat around her,
disgust building up throughout her.
She feels like she'll be sick
though she hasn't touched a thing.
She wants to run from this.

Needing a break it's a trip to the bathroom.
Cold water on her face mixing with salt water tears.
She holds on to the counter,
rests her head on the icy mirror.
"Try to breathe. Just breathe."
Why does this never get easier?
She wants to run from this.

She returns,
everyone shows concern.
"I'm fine." she smiles,
her eyes still brimmed with tears.
She picks up a carrot to prove she's

The Thoughts Behind Anorexia“You’re killing yourself. You’re not eating.”

It’s funny how such unexpected things come from unexpected people. As my mother and I walk up the street together, me lugging handfuls of shopping bags, nearly falling over from the weight of them on my empty stomach, I keep my eyes fixed ahead of me: the view of grey London buildings I’ve grown up with, swathed in November fog.

This is what I want, I have to keep reminding myself. My life has become a series of monotonous events. I hate myself for not breathing when my lungs expand, for not truly seeing when my eyes open, and for not fully feeling what I touch.

I

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Middle School GoodbyesMiddle School Goodbyes

The sun beat down upon us then,
And we were lucky beyond imagination.

We had the time of our lives –
And never realised how much we\'d miss it
When we left. We couldn\'t bear it –
Me more than them, perhaps.
And I couldn\'t stick it out,
Because they\'d spoiled us with
Such happiness that they
Couldn\'t compare.

And the sun beat down upon us then,
And we were lucky beyond imagination.

We had everything to gain
And nothing to lose –
Yet I didn\'t take the time to appreciate.
Or perhaps I did – but I didn\'t
Pay enough attention
To what my mind was doing.
I do that often these days
But never noticed

Forget-Me-NeverThe flowers reach for the sun
And the days stretch on for everlasting eternity
And there\'s something in the air that draws me on;
Forget-me-never.
Forget-me-never.

I reach upwards, like the flowers
To try and touch the sky that fascinates me so.
And there\'s something in the air that says I can;
Forget-me-never.
Forget-me-never.

The stars look down with cautious eyes
While they tempt me to reach out and hold them close.
But they\'re not within my reach, while this feeling is;
Forget-me-never.
Forget-me-never.

Listen close and hear my plea –
Heed the flowers; don\'t forget me.
Listen hard and breath low –
Heed me now; never

Its Late TodayIt\'s Late Today

The inky sky reached for the sea,
The buildings kissed the gravel path.
But you didn\'t reach for me,
And our kisses had long passed.

The harsh, jagged rocks touched the sky,
The trees stretched towards heaven,
But you didn\'t hear my cry,
And my clothes with rain were sodden.

The needles of rain hit the ground,
The moon hid behind darkened clouds.
But you stole the peace I found,
And I still need you around.

The wasted years lay on my heart,
The broken pleas play against my eyes,
And I wish we had ignored the start,
And not been part of the lies.

And it\'s late today that I see your face,
And it\'s late tod

And I Sit Up Late

Let Me Die SmilingI want to die smiling,

A smile that never dies.

I want to die standing,

Beneath moonlit skies.

I wont dies thinking,

I wish it wasn\'t so.

I want to be brave,

And let it all go.

Because death isn\'t the end,

It\'s the beginning once more.

Like day follows night,

Each un-identical to before.

Difference and changes,

Bring chances that are new.

And beautiful, dancing smiles,

On the lips of me and you.

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Im not Hungry - Anorexia 2

by ~yuavai, Apr 29, 2003, 6:01:02 AM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

Fight the hunger,
Push it back –
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry.
I’m so fat
They pick on me –
I’ll prove them wrong,
I’ll get thin.
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry.
Must stay top
Of every class –
Make them proud,
Make them pleased
That I’m around.
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry.
“Yes, I’m fine!”
Why do I snap?
Why do I shout?
Why do they ask
If I’m ok?
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry.
“Look, we’re worried…”
Like heck you are!
You just don’t want
Competition
When I’m thin
And beautiful.
“Yes mum, I ate my lunch…”
Fingers crossed behind my back.
“Can I have an apple?
I’m darn starved!”
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry…
Fight the hunger…
Fight the hunger…
Fight the scales,
Fight the mirror.
Tell me when I’m beautiful…
Wake me when I’m thin…
My eyes are heavy,
My head is foggy;
I’m not hungry.
I’m not hungry.

Im not Hungry - Anorexia 2by ~yuavai

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

Anorexia again, this time from the eyes of the sufferer...

In case the lines:

"Can I have an apple?
I'm darn starved!
I'm not hungry ...ect."

confused you, an apple is healthy food. It doesn't really count...

~~joy 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

*nettlebeast Oct 19, 2012 Student General Artist

_{I hate to admit it, but this sounds just like me! I've become obsessed with my physical appearance over the last year, and I feel I'll never be small enough.
your poem makes me wanna eat more today, it scared me (in a good way!) Beautifully written!}

~edanamia2 Oct 13, 2012

I love your poem!! Thank you for sharing.

*DeliriousDemon Jun 26, 2012

Thank you....

~IpomeaTricolor Jun 5, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

that had the power to make me speechless and that's not often

=divafica May 5, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

Beautiful

~FoggyPebble Mar 5, 2012

Anorexia is not the act of losing weight purposefully; anorexia is when you do not eat at all or barely eat, because you are mentally ill or lack nutritional information. A person who hates how fat they are will have moderate caloric deficits and abstain from high fructose corn syrup which leads to a caloric deficit that causes weight loss.

~MisaMuray Aug 23, 2011

I can really relate to this

its a great poem.

~AllisonRedCollar Aug 1, 2011

<3 Amazing.

~loveissuicide911 Jun 21, 2011

good job! i can relate!

~WolfPaws123 May 18, 2011 Student Digital Artist

I passed out yesterday from not eating, with just water, for two days. Wonderfully writen!

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Im not Hungry - Anorexia 2

Im not Hungry - Anorexia 2by ~yuavai

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